Am I fat? (by the B*tch)

NO!  So please shut the hell up Blonde.  You do not need diet pills, nor do I--thanks for the suggestion though (ASSHOLE).  

My point being this: The real women of Los Angeles need to all calm the fuck down.  The twigs walking around trying to become movie stars or trophy wives do not represent reality.  And I'm sick and tired of people who weight 110 lbs complaining about being fat, because what the hell does that make me???

To help rectify the situation and to potentially shut you all up, I've done some research:

*The average weight for woman in the US is is 163 lbs...NOT 100!  

*The average dress size of an American woman is a size 14.  (Not a 0 or 2, like you Blondie.)

*90-99% of diets fail to produce permanent weight loss, yet the diet industry makes over $40 billion a year.

So listen up ladies: Stop wasting your money on diet pills and just go to the gym.   Please do, because if you are running on the treadmill, chances are you'll be breathing too hard to say anything to me.  Now I'm going to have a piece of cake.

No One Cares (by The Gay)

Why does everyone feel the need to express themselves with bumper stickers? No one gives a shit about who you're voting for, what college you went to and if your child is a honor student or not.

Why put a big fat sticker on your car for an election that will be over in a couple of months? Just b/c you're voting for Obama doesn't mean any of us care. Good for you, I'm glad you're voting, but just b/c you are voting and have a sticker showing us so, doesn't mean that I will follow suit or like you any more. 

In fact, you just cut me off so I realllllly don't give a shit about you, your voting habits or that you went to a college that sells license plate frames. If you really think a bumper sticker will influence voters, you really need to reevaulate the voting public.

Hipsters (by The B*tch)

Reality check: You are not remotely unique or different. You look just like everyone else living near Sunset Junction in your unattractive skinny jeans, oversized cardigans and 7 scarves. (Side note: Since when did guys with chicken legs become hot??) Do what you want, but keep in mind that even though you THINK you are too cool for school, you could use a lesson in reality...not to mention fashion. (PS-Wearing glasses with black plastic frames does not actually mean you are an artist.)