Why am I asking this question? Let me tell you. So the other day I was hanging out at the Grove, having a nice normal conversation with a couple of friends, when it came out that one individual, who will go unnamed, had lied to his long-term girlfriend about being a virgin. My reaction: ASSHOLE. "Wait, wait," he said...The story was 'complicated'. (Honestly, it wasn't THAT complicated.)
He and his girlfriend of several months were both still virgins when they broke up for the summer. Although planning to get back together that fall, he managed to meet a few nice ladies and have some 'hot fun' that summertime. So, although he WAS a virgin at the beginning of the summer, he didn't bother to mention that he was no longer one when they finally slept together that fall. (My vote: Still an ASSHOLE.) Virgin Count: 1
Well, the discussion continued on, and I soon came to discover that one of the nice ladies he slept with during that sin-filled summer was also a virgin. (SERIOUSLY??? Does he have some sort of super power that makes virgins rip-off their panties?) Virgin Count: 2
A couple days later, still in shock from all this new information, I discovered that he had slept with an old acquaintance of mine. I was surprised because she seemed far too innocent to have a one-night stand. Well, she seemed so innocent because SHE TOO HAD BEEN A VIRGIN! (UNBELIEVABLE!!) Total Virgin Count: 3
3 VIRGINS??? Is this normal? He says so. I say not. (Actually, he says his virgin count is probably lower than most guys.) Where are all these virgins coming from? How many virgins just randomly decide to have a one-night-stand and get it over with? Possibly more importantly, how many girls are lying about being virgins and allowing men to go around thinking they've deflowered millions? I want answers, and I want them now.
5 comments:
FYI: I tried to add your blog to my favorites list, but since you have the content warning page up, which I love, it won't let me.
i think the girls are either lying to protect their "chastity" or.... maybe i just go for slutty, non-virginal men?
(and women... didn't mean to exclude your mom, obvi)
i dont know why i keep reading this blog. you never answered my question about the flying alarm clock. but i can say with absolute certainty that i have never slept with a virgin.
I once dated a virgin... but i quit it because #1 she had bad breath, and #2 i was pretty sure i was about to pop her cherry, and didn't want to pop and bail (did i mention the bad breath?).
Come to find out shortly after, she was nowhere near virginal, so i totally should have.
See I'm a nice guy afterall.
And i agree with your friend. Most guys have (they think) been with more than one virgin, (can you see how this doesn't really average out?) because most girls lie about being a virgin, until they reach an age where it's no longer seen as something good, but something weird.
My virgin count: goose egg.
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